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VAGurl15
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 01-11-2005 Location: Virginia
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posted on 01-12-2005 at 03:48 |
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Those urges
I am a 20 year old virgin and sometimes I get that feeling that makes me want to jump at the first man that walks by. How can I control those feelings until I actually lose my virginity.
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guyvirgin1977
Member
Posts: 61
Registered: 10-03-2004 Location: Springfield Missouri
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posted on 01-12-2005 at 06:03 |
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I'm confused on why you only want to control your urges untill you loose your virginity.
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VAGurl15
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 01-11-2005 Location: Virginia
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posted on 01-15-2005 at 01:46 |
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Well, I just want to control them
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angelbaby
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 03-04-2005 Location:
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posted on 03-05-2005 at 05:11 |
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I am a 33 year old virgin and can relate to how you are feeling. That feeling is perfectly normal. Masturbation is a very good way to help with the feelings you are having. It will "take the edge off" and the feeling won't be as strong or will go away.
There are times I feel like sleeping with the first guy that makes an offer but I fight the urge. I want the first time to be with someone I care about and know they care about me. I don't want to "throw it away" just so I can ease the feelings I'm having. I'd regret it if I were to do that. Your first time should mean something and is better if you're in a committed relationship, be it b/f and g/f or engaged or waiting until marriage.
When you do have sex, two words of advice...birth control, birth control, birth control. I can't stress it enough.
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guyvirgin1977
Member
Posts: 61
Registered: 10-03-2004 Location: Springfield Missouri
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posted on 03-16-2005 at 07:13 |
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I'm sorry I didn't respond sooner. A good way to fight the urges is just to think about the consequences. For one thing- Premarital sex is not about love or respect.....it's two people saying they are not worth waiting for each other and they don't respect their future spouse enough to wait for them. Premarital sex is all about lust... if it is really love you would marry them first...
Not only that but
their are so many diseases they aren't talking about, """"At least 50
percent of sexually active men and women acquire genital HPV infection
at
some point in their lives. By age 50, at least 80 percent of women will
have acquired genital HPV infection."""" If you don't believe me here
is the website I just copied and pasted it off of-
http://www.cdc.gov/std/HPV/STDFact-HPV.htm
That's only one STD not to mention the other 29! I won't put you to
sleep with the rest (unless you want me to next response) The thing that
most sexually active people don't realize is that.. most STDs can be
"silent," causing no noticeable symptoms. These asymptomatic infections
can
be diagnosed only through testing! (which they don't get)
More importantly Sex is an experience that effects you emotionally,
spiritually, and physically, It's that taking of two unique people and
bonding them for life.
A healthy marriage is like a strong threefold cord.1 It has these
three indispensable ties: a physical bond, a spiritual bond, and an
emotional bond. Men generally focus on the physical bond, while women
typically concentrate on the emotional. The emotional bond is nourished
and
strengthened by communication. For wives, verbal communication is one
of
the most significant ways husbands can show their love. At the same
time, many husbands are nearly oblivious to the verbal needs of their
wives. A wife will never feel truly fulfilled in marriage if her
husband
does not strengthen the emotional bond by communicating frequently. In
stark contrast, a husband from outer space says to his wife, "I told
you
twenty years ago that I loved you and if I ever change my mind I'll let
you know."
That's only one STD not to mention the other 29! I won't put you to
sleep with the rest (unless you want me to nest letter) The thing that
most sexually active people don't realize is that.. most STDs can be
"silent," causing no noticeable symptoms. These asymptomatic infections can
be diagnosed only through testing! (which they don't get)
More importantly Sex is an experience that effects you emotionally,
spiritually, and physically, It's that taking of two unique people and
bonding them for life.
A healthy marriage is like a strong threefold cord.1 It has these
three indispensable ties: a physical bond, a spiritual bond, and an
emotional bond. Men generally focus on the physical bond, while women
typically concentrate on the emotional. The emotional bond is nourished and
strengthened by communication. For wives, verbal communication is one of
the most significant ways husbands can show their love. At the same
time, many husbands are nearly oblivious to the verbal needs of their
wives. A wife will never feel truly fulfilled in marriage if her husband
does not strengthen the emotional bond by communicating frequently. In
stark contrast, a husband from outer space says to his wife, "I told you
twenty years ago that I loved you and if I ever change my mind I'll let
you know."
The natural difference in communication styles between men and women is
difficult for most husbands to overcome. Yet something else has
happened over the past thirty years that has aggravated this natural
difference, causing men to be lost in space when it comes to communicating with
their wives. I am referring to the common occurrence over the past
thirty years for couples to have premarital sexual relations. Premarital
sex weakens two of the three marital bonds. How?
When a couple has pre-marital sexual relations they know that they are
breaking God's commandments. As a result, their spiritual bond is
broken at the very time their spiritual relationship should be maturing.
Deep interpersonal communication takes place in all sexual relations.
It is very easy for a man to feel like he is building the emotional bond
with his wife-to-be during pre-marital sexual relations. A man thinks
that he is fully sharing his feelings in the sexual embrace: "Boy, are
we ever communicating!" The problem for the man is that his verbal
communication skills become fast-frozen at the point pre-marital sex begins.
Physical bonding replaces emotional bonding. During the critically
important months before marriage, a man should be learning how to express
himself in non-physical ways to his fiancee. Instead, the intensity of
the physical communication eclipses the verbal. The husband enters
marriage with frozen emotional skills. As a result, many marriages shatter.
The reason I only
date virgins or born-again virgins of at least two years is because
I've learned with experience that only virgins rally understand how
precious sex is. I've learned that the other women will talk like the
understand it but in the end the prove they are just like the others, I
even
had two of the non-virgins I dated try and force me to have sex with
them, But of course the didn't get to far.
Anyway, I've had some women get offended and say a whole lot of stuff
to me when they find out I only date virgins. Some women get mad and
tell me that I'm a boy until I have sex, but that is the
pinnacle of stupidity. Do you know what makes gold valuable? Because it
is rare. The reason dirt is worthless is because it is everywhere we
go, it's all around us, the poorest Somalian in the country can reach
down and pick up a handful of dirt.
The same goes for women. I can go and pick up a normal woman just by
hanging out, at any mall, grocery store, club, or bar. No telling how
men they have said "yes" to (when it comes to sex). But finding a woman
who will say "NO! I'm waiting for my future husband" now that is rare.
Now that is a woman worth alot! That is a woman that can be trusted in
a
world where 7 out of 10 married people under the age of 40 admit to
having sexual contact with someone other than their spouse.
If you say yes to every guy that you date, then your yes means nothing
when you say it to your future husband.
But... If you say no to every guy that asks you, and you say yes to
your future husband, now that is special. Your virginity is the most
infinitely valuable thing you can give to anyone.
So is taking advice from a virgin who actually understands the value of
sex a bad idea? I don't think so.....
You see God invented sex. He invented it not us. He set the boundaries
down
because he wants the best for his children. That boundary is marriage.
Do
you know that 3 major universities (University of Boston, University of
Chicago, and UCLA) did a study costing five million dollars to find out
who is having the best sex in this country? They went into great detail
on these studies including how often
these women reach the Big "O" ...........Do you know what every
single study found? Does you know who has the best sex in
America????..................... Christian Married Monogamous (monogamy does not
mean
one at a time it's one partner for life) Women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Yeah they
have the best
sex. That study had a whole lot of people dropping their chins. Rolling
Stone magazine was freaking out. The study ended up being called
"Revenge of the Church Ladies"
Every Human has sexual desires, there is no excuse for not controling
those desires. A close relationship with God will help alot! God can do
anything!
I'm not as concerned with what you did before you read this I am
really concerned with what you choose to do after you read this.....You can
change...Right now....Then maybe you can tell your future husband..."I
have waited for you for (3,4,5 or whatever amount) of years, I've
practiced discipline in my life, I can be trusted"
That is special:D Anymore questions?
God Bless
Jeremiah
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knowledgewins
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 05-01-2005 Location:
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posted on 05-01-2005 at 22:47 |
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I agree 2 what all u say, u r very correct... difference in lust and love. Just would like to add something more.. maybe might help u 2. Not all people are compatible physically and emotionally. U might be dating a virgin and all must be good. None of u have ever had sex b4 or anything b4, but still if in the end u both are not physically compatible.. ur marriage will shatter... regardless. In the end both of u will end up messing the ur lives even though u did all the best u could. Physical compatibility does not mean attraction by look and kiss. A lot is there in the whole of it.
Love and sex are both needed for a marriage to be successful. As u say physical and emotional bonds.
That is why god gave us knowledge which we can choose to use or throw down the drain.
So dont live by trial and error, but do the right thing.
God be with u.
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SimplyCurious
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 05-19-2005 Location:
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posted on 05-19-2005 at 08:27 |
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quote:
Originally posted by VAGurl15
I am a 20 year old virgin and sometimes I get that feeling that makes me want to jump at the first man that walks by. How can I control those feelings until I actually lose my virginity.
I understand you perfectly. I'm the same way. I have to say that masturbation helps "sometimes" (for me that is). I don't believe that thinking bout "consequences" will help with the feeling. From my experience is that strong urges come from surpressed sexual energy (Sex is a natural part of human nature, we all have hormones). You need to have an outlet for your sexuality, that doesn't involve actually having sex. You should have multiple outlets. For me I masturbate, write sensual poems, think about fantasies, do whatever to express myself sexually without actual sex. But when all esle fails "Will Power."
I also I think about why I'm a virgin in the first place as a reminder. It's good to keep that image in your head. It's actually important
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