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Franco8274
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 03-07-2010 Location:
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posted on 03-07-2010 at 15:32 |
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Long time gone
I'll try to make this fairly brief. My wife of 35 years divorced me a year and a half ago. I lost everything because of a bankruptcy action due to the divorce. She told me and our two adult daughters that there wasn't another man involved, which I knew wasn't the truth because she had done the same thing 25 years earlier, but we were able to reconcile, mainly because the man dumped her. This time she was determined to go through with it. She wound up marrying another man 3 months after our divorce.
Less than a month after the divorce I started having a problem with my right foot and wound up enrolled in a Veterans Transitional Housing program. Never in my wildest dreams could this ever happen. A month after she got remarried, I had an operation to amputate my right leg. It was necessary to have a second operation because they didn't take enough of my leg the first time. (below the knee, then above the knee) I stayed in a house with 2 other gentleman for a year while I recovered and prepared to return to independent living. I had received psychiatric care through the VA and still take anti-depressants. The problem is that I live in a small town where I have no life at all. No friends, no outlet for volunteering, no social activities. I receive SSDisability so I don't work. I sit at my computer or watch TV all day long. As far as finding another woman eventually, I have little chance of that due to my age (59) and my disability. There aren't too many women who are interested in possibly becoming a nursemaid in the future. I've already planned out a exit strategy if I lose my other leg, which is possible according to statistics, within 5 years. I would not be interested in living in a assisted living center for the rest of my life. I'm a chronically depressed person, but I'm not suicidal, just want to exit with some dignity, through a doctor assisted expiration, possibly in a few years.
My last resort according to my doctor, is Electro-Convulsive therapy. That would be the only thing that might work to break the cycle of depression and hopelessness.
I don't even no why I'm posting this except that I met with my ex-father-in-law today after 7 years of not seeing him. It was difficult to say the least,(35 year relationship with her family) and I'm dealing with a particularly down day.
No one has to try to comfort me. I guess I'm just venting, which helps considering I really don't have anyone to talk to.
Okay, that's about.
Thank you for giving me the means to express myself.
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ken
Senior Member
Posts: 142
Registered: 10-16-2002 Location:
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posted on 03-08-2010 at 21:46 |
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time for a change
Hello, sorry to hear about your situation. If it was me I would move to the Philippines. With your Social security check and disability check you could live very nice in the Philippines. Also you can meet some very nice women who would not mind your disability. Also you can hire a live in maid for about $50 a month to take care of you. Not a bad life living on a beautiful Island with many beautiful women. Plus it is a norm for women to marry men 20 to 30 years older.
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Davy9
Newbie
Posts: 4
Registered: 03-04-2010 Location:
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posted on 03-09-2010 at 13:39 |
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Hi Franco
Franco, I will be 58 in few weeks and I am disabled also. Like you I have no support system locally. I will admit that your situation seems more dire than mine.
It makes you really wonder what women are really about. They say they want stability and good men but when they get that they tend to step all over you then remorselessly set you aside. I did not end up going broke but I certainly do not know whether I can ever trust a woman again. I am still ironing out my 2nd divorce and am trying to consider how I can eventually reinvent myself. I've never been a bachelor type person. My parents are still alive and married after well over 50 years together.
Anyway, I have witnessed electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) and it ain't pretty. I guess it helps with depression and the docs probably know better. But I'd try to avoid it if I were you.
Interesting post about the Phillipines. Can we take our disability income to any other country? How does that work..... anyone?
D9
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ken
Senior Member
Posts: 142
Registered: 10-16-2002 Location:
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posted on 03-09-2010 at 19:16 |
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easy
'
Interesting post about the Phillipines. Can we take our disability income to any other country? How does that work..... anyone?
D9
'
Just keep a PO box in the US, and have your checks direct deposit.
As long as you are a citizen of US you can collect your checks.
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Franco8274
Newbie
Posts: 3
Registered: 03-07-2010 Location:
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posted on 04-08-2010 at 11:43 |
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Ken
quote:
'Hello, sorry to hear about your situation. If it was me I would move to the Philippines. With your Social security check and disability check you could live very nice in the Philippines. Also you can meet some very nice women who would not mind your disability. Also you can hire a live in maid for about $50 a month to take care of you. Not a bad life living on a beautiful Island with many beautiful women. Plus it is a norm for women to marry men 20 to 30 years older. '
Well, Ken I suppose that it'd be nice to live there if for no other reason then my disability income, which is minimal, would have more value there. However, I don't know that I would be able to move there because my two daughters, 11 year old son and 9 grandchildren are all within one mile of my apartment. O think my daughters could deal with it, but I'm not too sure my son could.
Unfortunately, I have a lot of contact either by email, phone or in person with my ex-wife and her "husband". After I see her, I experience a whole hell of a lot of grief and depression. I had made a choice to be as amiable as possible and "pretend" that all is well with me for the sake of children, especially my 11 year old son, but it is incredibly difficult. It seems as though it's actually getting more difficult to bear this then it was when I lived in a larger city for a year and a half. I really don't know what can happen emotionally or mentally when continually experiencing the same grief, depression and pain, in my "heart" and also physically.
P.S. I really do hate whining about my situation, but it does help to "vent", at least for a little while.
Anyway..............
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